Friday, March 22, 2013
Friday, June 8, 2012
I have a film idea based on the classic book Low Fat Cowgirl by Danico Apontellini, the great Italian romance writer from Milan. Set in The Old West, it’s about a morbidly obese farm girl inspired by a brilliant young lawyer named Abe Lincoln to lose the pounds in the name of National Security and to U2’s Pride In The Name Of Love.
She began a rigorous program without Jenny Craig or Planet Fitness or an Austrian ex-bodybuilder turned ex- governor who used to burn out calories ala Californication. What the farm girl had was old-fashioned true grit. It’s all she ever had for dinner. Then the magic of hard work happened! To The Beastie Boys’ FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY mixed amongst the roars of an amazed crowd, she arrives as the belle of the ball.
OMG!
She looks just like Linsey Lohan or maybe casting can give us somebody who looks like her. Who was Linsey Lohan anyway? She used to be big on Sunset Boulevard, right? Forget her! Get us the gutsy pole dancer on America’s Got Talent! She perfect for Low-Fat Cowgirl! I’m sure We, The People wholeheartedly agree her American Dream was not worth to diet for. Her end is the beginning of a beautiful day in the US of A.
Please, Mr. Bloomberg, invest in making this life-saving movie that, hopefully, might save a lot of lives from the multiplex concession stand of Big Soda Gulpers and other butt fattening fill-in-the-blanks snacks. It would be sweet revenge on fructose pushers for you.
As for me, I have an insatiable need to fatten ego. Like Homer Simpson, I see myself with my tongue out drooling over 100 Oscars in my cold dead hands. In my acceptance speech, I would thank Charleston Heston for that last line and Soylent Green for helping me to see the future of fast-food franchises for The Walking Dead. In conclusion, remember Red*, the overweight X-wing pilot from Star Wars? If you do, this joke works.
The Fat will be with you always.
Now, for this worthy film project to work, please make donations of much needed lettuce to http://lowfatcowgirl.blogspot.com/ and by lettuce I mean $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!
I’m willing to bet the farm you cute killer tomatoes already knew that.
*Or was his name Porkins? Only George Lucas knows.
At any rate, th-th-that’s all folks!
She began a rigorous program without Jenny Craig or Planet Fitness or an Austrian ex-bodybuilder turned ex- governor who used to burn out calories ala Californication. What the farm girl had was old-fashioned true grit. It’s all she ever had for dinner. Then the magic of hard work happened! To The Beastie Boys’ FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY mixed amongst the roars of an amazed crowd, she arrives as the belle of the ball.
OMG!
She looks just like Linsey Lohan or maybe casting can give us somebody who looks like her. Who was Linsey Lohan anyway? She used to be big on Sunset Boulevard, right? Forget her! Get us the gutsy pole dancer on America’s Got Talent! She perfect for Low-Fat Cowgirl! I’m sure We, The People wholeheartedly agree her American Dream was not worth to diet for. Her end is the beginning of a beautiful day in the US of A.
Please, Mr. Bloomberg, invest in making this life-saving movie that, hopefully, might save a lot of lives from the multiplex concession stand of Big Soda Gulpers and other butt fattening fill-in-the-blanks snacks. It would be sweet revenge on fructose pushers for you.
As for me, I have an insatiable need to fatten ego. Like Homer Simpson, I see myself with my tongue out drooling over 100 Oscars in my cold dead hands. In my acceptance speech, I would thank Charleston Heston for that last line and Soylent Green for helping me to see the future of fast-food franchises for The Walking Dead. In conclusion, remember Red*, the overweight X-wing pilot from Star Wars? If you do, this joke works.
The Fat will be with you always.
Now, for this worthy film project to work, please make donations of much needed lettuce to http://lowfatcowgirl.blogspot.com/ and by lettuce I mean $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!
I’m willing to bet the farm you cute killer tomatoes already knew that.
*Or was his name Porkins? Only George Lucas knows.
At any rate, th-th-that’s all folks!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Oh, yeah. It’s another blog.
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